Missing Peace
by ottgeekgirl
Summary: Like so many others I did not enjoy the endings to Mass Effect 3 so there are some spoilers for Mass Effect 3 and some Shenko.


A/N: Like so many others I did not enjoy the endings to Mass Effect 3 and this is one of my plot bunnies on what's going on around the ending. So expect some spoilers for ME3

Mass Effect and Kaidan and Shepard belong to Bioware unfortunately.

She thought she opened her eyes but it was still pitch black around her. Was she dead? Maybe whoever decided where she was supposed to go hadn't figured it out yet and she was in some kind of limbo.

"_I'm gonna fight like hell for the chance to hold you again."_

She tried to shift, but something was pinning her down. The whimpering moans, were those coming from her? The sound of her heartbeat filled her ears, getting faster and fainter.

Kaidan was with her, stroking her hair, his dark eyes smiling down into hers and tears slipped down her cheeks as she realized she wouldn't be there to keep her promise to him.

"_When this is over, I'm going to be waiting for you. You better show up…"_

'Kaidan, I'm sorry…I-' her mental apology was cut off as a piece of debris on her was lifted away and she blinked as a light shone in her face.

"Garrus! She's here! Shepard's here! And get a med team over here pronto!" James called over his shoulder. He turned back to her and grinned widely, "I knew you'd make it Lola! Just hang on and let's see if we can do something here." He moved some more of the debris off her and applied medigel to her more obvious wounds.

The turian came over with the medical team and Garrus leaned over her other shoulder and his mandibles moved in what she recognized as a smile. "I thought one of us was supposed to duck Shepard," he observed dryly as the medical team worked to stabilize her.

Garrus couldn't tell if she heard him. Her eyes were starting to glaze over a little, probably from the painkillers she was receiving. He looked at James across Shepard's stretcher and James returned his look, staying silent.

"Go see who else on the squad you can find, Vega. I'm going to head to the hospital with Shepard. They might need a hand keeping her in the hospital once she finds out." Garrus told Vega quietly, coming around Shepard's stretcher as the medics were getting ready to load her onto an evac shuttle.

"Finds out what?" Shepard's weak voice came from behind them, startling them both. Garrus turned, cursing under his breath, but Shepard's eyes had closed already. She might have heard something but she probably didn't quite catch all that was said if she was drifting in and out of consciousness like this.

Seeing that no explosion was forthcoming, Vega peered at Shepard briefly and cocked his head at Garrus to draw him away from Shepard a little.

"Tell Lola we've got her back, if, you know, if, she wakes up before we get back," Vega muttered.

Garrus nodded, his gaze going back to their injured commander.

Vega headed off in search of others on the team while Garrus hopped into the shuttle with Shepard and the medics.

Liara was pacing back and forth in the crowded waiting room, while Tali absently poked at her omni-tool, causing something to activate, deactivate and the activate again. Garrus leaned against a wall near them and sighed heavily.

A salarian doctor appeared and looked around. He spotted them and headed over in their direction. "You are part of Commander Shepard's squad?" he asked quietly. Liara had stopped pacing and Tali's omni-tool was forgotten as they both stared at him expectantly. Garrus managed to nod an answer, finding it strangely difficult to speak.

"She's awake. She is still very weak of course, but she has many questions for you. She's very anxious to know that her squad is safe." They were mumbling thanks as they pushed past him to her room.

One of the benefits of being Commander Shepard was a private room, she supposed. She looked around, amazed that there was a hospital still standing in London. Maybe she wasn't in London. Tali, Liara and Garrus rushed in, practically falling over each other. Tali took the only chair. It looked like she had more than one suit rupture. Probably lots of antibiotics happening there.

"I thought…I thought I saw…James before," Shepard said, softly, haltingly.

"You did," Garrus replied. "He's the one who found you."

"Oh…oh," a flicker crossed Shepard's face, disappointment or something she couldn't quite place.

"Did-did we-did I…the Reapers?" she tried, not even sure she wanted to know.

"Oh Shepard, I don't know what you did, but there seemed to be a huge pulse from the Crucible and the Reapers were badly damaged. The Fleet was able to take them out after that. There have been casualties of course-" Tali and Garrus both shot Liara a sharp glance and she gave them the barest of nods as she continued. "But everyone expected, _the fleet_, 'and she put a strange emphasis that Shepard didn't understand on those last two words, 'to take casualties."

"Uh…yeah," Shepard agreed, looking at Liara strangely.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments and then Garrus jumped in with what seemed to Shepard an obvious attempt to change the subject. "James wanted me to tell you that he and the rest of the team have got your back."

Shepard looked at Garrus and then looked at Tali and Liara. "What's going on?" she asked, dragging herself up to a sitting position so she could see them better. She gasped softly with the exertion and Tali moved to help her but Shepard waved her away.

"What do you mean?" Liara asked, in her calm, logical way that sometimes made Shepard want to throttle her.

"You're all…acting weird," Shepard said, still breathing hard. She looked from face to face and that's when it hit her.

"Where is he?" she demanded, feeling her strength return with her anger.

"James is looking-" Garrus narrowly avoided the container of water Shepard hurled at his head.

Shepard struggled to get out of bed and Liara rushed forward, "No Shepard, you can't, you need your rest, one of you needs to pull thr-" she clamped her lips shut abruptly, her blue skin paling as she realized what she had revealed.

"Someone…tell me what the fuck is going on!" Shepard cried, resisting Liara's attempts to keep her in the bed.

"Shepard, stop. Please, I'll tell you. Just, stay in your bed," Garrus said quietly.

"Start talking," she calmed at once, giving Liara a dangerous glare and shoving her away with more force than any of them thought she had at the moment.

"Kaidan was hit by Harbinger's blast. It knocked him backwards, out of the line of more fire but the force of the blast and how hard he hit…he's in critical care," Garrus moved to sit on the edge of her bed. "The Alliance is looking into moving him but he's not in any condition to be moved so they're trying to see if they can get any specialists to come here. Kaidan is considered one of the heroes of this battle after all though now that they have Commander Shepard for hero worship…" he trailed off, not sure what he was going to say.

"He-he's going to live right?" I mean…Kaidan…Kaidan's going to be all right, isn't he?" Shepard whispered. No one answered her. She looked around the room, her gaze pleading and they all avoided her gaze.


End file.
